The Gyalwang Drukpa

Of course, I want to thank my students and friends who really work so hard, sometimes even putting my interests above their own, to fulfill my wishes, through helping my endless list of projects, projects of my colleagues and all kinds of requests that I have. I hope I have not been too demanding on everyone. If I am, let me know, so that I will put a brake.

I know, being who I am, I am a very moody person, easily disappointed. I was even thinking of "packing up" to go elsewhere not too long ago, because I didn't see any really good enough reason to stay behind. These days, I am a little easier on myself and others, I know that this world is not perfect and that people around me are really trying their best to make my life easier, even though there are so many limitations. We are not living in Pure Land, of course there should be difficulties. What I really feel unable to take it, is whenever I come to one place, that place becomes a mess because people fight for my attention, then I feel that I might as well not come. In my absence, people are very peaceful and friendly towards each other. When I come, I am the trouble maker. How would you feel, if you are in my position? I really feel that I belong to the cave, when things like this happen. Or if my presence provokes negativity, then I don't belong to this world, don't you agree?

Someone asked me not too long ago, "How can I become your disciple?" For me, "disciple" is a very big issue. I think by now, many people know that I sometimes introduce people as my friends, sometimes as my students and sometimes as my disciples. Since I have a bit of time, I want to tell you a bit about someone that I consider to be one of my five lay disciples, if I may say. He is the number 2. Everyone knows that it's quite difficult to be number one, because each year Helga is always taking time out to go into a retreat in a cave for 6 months, 3 months continuously, for maybe over 30 years, ever since she took me as her guru. How many people can do that? I don't know. She is more than 60 years' old now, yet she is just like the young, energetic and sophisticated German lady that I knew when I was very young.

Now talking about this number 2. He actually mistook me as some other old Rinpoche when he came to see me over 20 years ago, because by mistake or rather due to his karma, he went to the monastery next to the one he was supposed to go to. I remember very well that he had very long hair, and he even had a girlfriend and a guitar with him when we met. For some strange reasons, he got stuck with me, and every year he came to me after he finished each set of Ngondro, he had shorter hair. I think he had finished at least 4 to 5 sets of Ngondro in the first few years of knowing me and I had sent him back to university to study to become a doctor, against his wish of becoming my monk.

Now he has hardly any hair, not because he is a monk, but because of worldly stress. I want him to remember how happy he was when he found me and I want him to know that even though samsara is suffering, I will try my best to make him understand that all the suffering in samsara is nothing compared to the wonderful opportunity to be able to practise true Dharma, so that one day or one future life, he will definitely be completely free.

I know that he sometimes feel that I am very distant now, because of my activities and my very busy schedule, I would like Senge to know that for every student, friend and disciple who have been practising with genuine motivation to benefit others, I am completely aware of their presence and their love for me. I will take care of them, no matter what. I did not forget the anniversary of his refuge with me, although I don't like to make big fuss about this kind of things. I want to let him know that I often feel so proud that I have met someone like him, who has been following my instructions sometimes with difficulties, sometimes easily, for more than 20 years, without changing his mind, without changing his heart.